Tonight the sun, earth and moon all align.
It will manifest to our eyes as a full moon. Regardless of where our feet touch the earth – we will all look up and see the moon in full this night. This month it is the snow moon. Full moon Monday – a great time to take pause and reflect on our alignment - mind, body, emotion, spirit, bliss – whole being. The fullness of the moon, the alignment in the universe brings with it an energy that is invigorating, plentiful and tangible. As Jess Frey @kripalucenter so eloquently suggested it leads to “an emotional bubbling”. An invitation to align with the rhythm of nature. An opportunity to work in stride with the universe and draw forth our desires, hopes, inner longings. How refreshing and invigorating. This time of year I often feel un-attuned to the whispers of the universe. The cold, dark, brisk winter days push me to withdraw and hide deep under covers of consumption and noise that desensitizes and distract. Tonight mother moon calls to me, beckons my attention and urges my dancing upon frozenness and shrills of oneness. She beckons me to breathe, sucking in frigid air wrapped in energizing centeredness. Mother moon, daring to shine so bright in the frozen blackness, inspiring each of us to reach within and dig out the light buried deep down in crevices of the unknown, setting it free and propelling into space and time that is dancing in alignment and truth. Happy Full Moon to you – may you encounter universe-inspired alignment.
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One year ago we began the journey of saying goodbye to our matriarch, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, sister, friend. Those days were some of the richest, most profound moments and pure gift. I wrote the lines of this poem over time in my mind. Some parts written while riding in my car with tears flooding my face, some parts written in the middle of my hectic day when reminders of grandma’s joy bounced in my heart, some parts written in dark nights that felt lonely, some parts written in midnight baths in open waters with lines of stargazers singing Circle Game…some parts yet to be written, waiting for future moments yet to be lived. Today I wrote all the parts down together in a tapestry of one last lesson.
one last lesson You moved mountains and lived in this world emboldened by grace You did not withdraw in squeamish fear In fact your bold, determined drive moved you forward At full speed, all day, every day You broke ground in areas of truth and equity, not as part of an agenda or movement But in response to your inner truth, simple acts of being yourself It never occurred to you that you shouldn’t or couldn’t or wouldn’t follow your heart because you were woman that would be absurd You played baseball in hand-me-down shoes because you loved the swing of the bat, the competitive nature of the game and the time spent with your brothers You put your own worm on the hook You flew your own plane You drove your own agenda You worked three jobs while raising four kids because that is what needed to be done and there was no time for rest You went to the beauty salon as religiously as you went to church and your elegance was elevated and your graceful demeanor tended to You never apologized for any of your contradictory and complex preferences You emboldened your children and grandchildren and great children through a matriarchical love and devotion to family that penetrated our lives and was reaffirmed by tradition You saw pain and heartache too large to swallow you lost loves too soon but the wrenching brutal-ness of life’s reality that touched your journey only led to resilience and gratitude When you no longer could see the sunsets and the roses you created them within you Pushing through life unabashed and unwilling to surrender to limits that tried to bind you to something you are not Time and time again you stood as noble royalty with an audacious spirit Never too proud for silliness shrouded in daring laughter and giggles of beauty You said what you meant and made clear where you stood Discipline carved your days into routines of morning exercise, sips of jack after 5, squealing hearing aids and face washing to bid the night farewell You lived life – tasting every sweet course as if you hadn’t had it in forever convincing yourself to be as delighted and present to it as if you really hadn’t had it in forever and you savored the sweet eternity every time You bestowed on us lessons that transformed and shaped us You made us feel exceptional and loved Painted us to be unique beings with potential for greatness, born to shine The best part was you really believe all those affirmations you spoke And you let us know by sitting in the audience, by listening, by remembering the day of our birth You reminded us with lollipops and hand knit scarves Your strength as a woman empowered us all, woman and man, all of us elevated Your spirit emboldened us, we stand now on the shoulders of memories an independent, hardworking tireless noble queen On these shoulders we see past the horizon, we see clearer and deeper into truth You taught us, remembered us, were honest with us drew us in, again and again, always And that would have been more than we could have ever asked for These lessons were enough to permeate our bones and last us our lifetime empowering us, strengthening us, reinforcing us Authorizing us to carry onto authentic greatness Believing it attainable But then, one more gift you shared It was packaged in yellow hospital gowns and vulnerability It came at the end when we expected nothing more We gathered We travelled from near and far, ferociously spinning wheels to arrive in time for goodbyes Booking flights, driving all night, dropping our agendas and gathering Descending upon the hospital room like migrating birds pulled by the rhythm of the universe Wishing Hoping Longing Desiring Anticipating eagerly awaiting a final moment to be with you before your departure We longed to hold your presence in awareness for just a little while longer not knowing what it would be like without it. The universe itself unable to reckon existence in your absence For 94 years your reality moved this world forward Fearing your passing could shake the very fabric of our existence and rock the cosmos into disarray So we touched down, each of us. We didn’t know if we had minutes or hours, or days We knew we didn’t have weeks. Some carried guilt of not doing enough some brought anger of pieces left undone some couldn’t bear to visit until cajoled some so young all they could do was stomp around in clunky winter boots not comprehending the significance of the moment All full of emotions swirling stronger than the bitter winter cold outside flooding to our ears and penetrating every cell The flurry gave way to silence, stillness and long moments of the in between spaces that fill up around the peaks and valleys We settled in. Your space was adorned with life-size visuals of the love you brought forth into the world represented by a brood of descendants The sterilized backdrop and cacophony of beeps and creaks was painted over decorated with laughter, stories, music, prayers and hugs Shifts of descendants sat watch and advocated for your care, tallied on the wall The gathering was parallel to the many you hosted on Split Rock, adorned with music, festive feelings, and constant feast At moments we could almost close our eyes hard enough to hear Sacandaga chant a song of campfires and perch and starlit nights Almost. And then, one more gift you shared You took this solemn, sacred space to teach one more lesson Adorned with grace you let us care for your fading body we placed the straw between your dry, parched lips we spooned morsel by morsel of sustenance into your mouth we washed raw, tired skin anew we stayed up all night, a breath away, keeping watch we were on the ready to hold your hand we kept the Kleenex coming we ensured the pleas you whispered in the twilight did not go unheard You didn’t resist this You lay there, as noble and beautiful as ever vulnerable, gracious and accepting surrendering we needed this we needed to be needed we desired to comfort you in tissues, and spoons full of yogurt and last sips of coffee It was all that was left to give Your strength looked different this time Your courage manifested as gentle squeezes of our hands and invitations to be with you in this sacred time till the end you talked about leaving at a time that would be most convenient for us worried about our travel, anxious about getting the wedding and birthday cards ready in your absence Till the end you met our needs A woman of ninety-four years, living through lifetimes of moments A true model of strength and independence and hard work and dedication and devotion Choosing to leave us with one last lesson, one profound truth – You taught us that sometimes strength is wrapped up in a vulnerable longing to be taken care of In the end there was clarity You understood that which carries on the only thing that mattered all a long Yes, one last lesson shared in moments stripped down to raw existence presence and love. Strength, this time was wrapped in a vulnerable longing to love And be loved. I have ventured into the Twitter world recently. My account has existed since December 2012 (I only know that because it says it right on the homepage). I set up the account at the nudge of my coworker Mallory Bower (social media whiz and pro) and then it just sat.
I revisited it recently, clumsily. Pitifully having to google tricks of the trade as to not make any major faux pas right out of the gate. Then last night I had the opportunity to hear a speaker on social media and digital identity – another shout out to a guru on this topic – Dr. Josie Ahlquist. One thing really struck me from her presentation. She posed the question: What do you want to go viral for? It got me thinking…so of course, a poem. If you are in Twitterland come find me – @christyhuynh11 What do you want to go viral for? In a world where there is the possibility to shout from the mountain top of your solitude, sending messages from a space alone, tweeting your ideas to crevices of the world unknown to your consciousness In a time when you can taste the potentiality to take musing to grandiose places in exponential reservoirs and rapid rivers to reach eyes you never met What if your tweet exploded and went viral? Erupting a pandemonium of thought that could shift and shake all existence? What would you want the world to catch? What will your virus be? What side effects will manifest? Love, hope Hate, bigotry Inclusion, vision Fear, rage Quiet listening to pitter patter of rain during a snowstorm? Loud distracted gluttonous intake of noise and synthetic gawks? Would my viral episode cleanse, renew this world? Would it melt over it - a shield of false security at the expense of another’s ability to exist? Perhaps never before has the prospect of “viralness” been so tangible We feel it in our bones the illusion can inflate the ego to its detriment or it can inform the possibility in such a way that consciousness guides the tapping of the fingers to press buttons that bring forth the reality of our longing in truth, the inner ramblings of vision To embark on a truth that sparks more than the mundane, elevates the ordinary, transforms the dismal into the viral campaign for truth Continuity to push us forward, together All touched and infected by this virus – feverish and shaking with potency for the life transforming before us So before my next message is sent forth into the abyss – I ask What do I want to go viral for? Valentine’s Day can erupt disdain and bitterness for many. Nauseous rebukes of expectations of romantic red, diamond, dark chocolate moments filled with passion and romance. Yup, all of that can keep many of us from “celebrating” Valentine’s Day but I wonder what would happen if we all created space to honor the deep love we all experience, every day in the simple gestures of forgiveness, the empathetic listening ear, the healing moments that rejuvenate our spirits. We all know of those moments, we all have the opportunity to share these gifts with others.
This Valentine’s Day I call to mind a loving gesture from a stranger, a woman I met once. I met her during a time when my soul shuddered with fear. I had a health scare a few years back and I went to a doctor...a healer. The loving presence she was for me was poignant and exactly what I needed. I am grateful for her loving, healing presence. This Valentine’s Day I think about all the love that has been shown in this bruised world. The loving gestures that may go unnoticed or unappreciated, but are what make this world keep spinning… Healing Hands by Christy Huynh Held my hand one hand only – is all it took Your two hands my one Warmth, love, healing surrounding my one hand Cold, fearful, anxious your two my one I usually don’t put forth my hand Proud Guarded But one time, one hand Surrounded by two hands found comfort, reassurance, healing Thank you, thank you I needed that. Happy Valentine's Day! Four days to the New Year! A new lunar year is upon us. During the first half of my life this time of the year went unnoticed. Over twenty years ago I met my soulmate and was introduced to one of the sacred traditions of his family and culture, Tết– the Vietnamese New Year. The food, the colors, the smells, the family, the stories shared, the gifts, the customs. It is all very profound and beautiful. This year is the year of the Monkey. Monkeys are known to be curious, mischievous, clever, fun and have a happy heart.
If you were born in the following year you are a monkey: 1908, 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004 I wrote this poem a few years ago, in the year of the snake. I think sometimes when we are outsiders to customs and traditions we can find them trivial or simplistic. This poem is about my revelation about my own naivety and biased presumptions – and thankfully my transformation. Here is my reflection on the tradition of giving money and wishes of luck in tiny red envelopes… We come together Snake, rooster, dog Monkey, tiger, dragon We come together as one no matter our essence We greet one another with wishes of luck and health Happiness in all that is new Becoming Transforming before us We accept these wishes in packages Bound by the color of love, Color of luck The color of blood We nod and smile A token of tradition of old – In condescending smiles we speak of gratitude For my story My culture My tradition is one of intellect and mature understanding of the universe You cannot package luck You cannot bid the universe to distribute this wish upon your demand Oh but reverently, Respectfully I bow and accept and tuck the wishes in a pocket Celebration ensues fingers are sticky from sweet celebrating `glasses full, empty Full, empty… …always full In celebration stories shared Offerings of reflections from behind and more importantly from deep within – All in celebration It could go on for days, weeks But our lives call and we part Full enough to sustain us 'till the next animal raises its head and demands our attention Until then - life calls I spend little time listening but lots of time responding Moving rapidly Wrestling against tides that are pushing hard against my chest Moments past that I survive and in one of those moments the chill upon my hand forces my retreat I huddle down hand in pocket head bent the warmth of red fire warms my hand I feel the smooth burn and pull out my luck Right from my pocket I slitter – it is the year of the snake after all – I slitter into the closest respite from myself I walk the aisles not knowing the purpose Spontaneously perhaps its called that not experienced much by these bones so not sure if that is the sensation exactly I suppose that will suffice Spontaneously grabbing, grasping I pick you up – small, beautiful, enough A good exchange for a lifetime of luck – tradition moves back further and tired I exchange my lucky money for you a simple space to put pen to line and write. So now in my pocket the package a bit heavier and bit more Moments – forks to force me to defend existence Unknowns forcing mortality Tragedy to inspire forgiveness Sacred moments deserving honor People of dynamic intricacies worth puzzling apart Story worth sharing Insight worth watching for awhile Depth Gratitude Newness Time Capturing what is trying so hard to escape Courageous being, just being All at once heat rises from deep Deep wells untapped Bursting into cheeks and consciousness The naïve, egocentric one – humbled. Humbled at the deep understanding that luck, health, wealth and any good wish you could bestow on me – that you could demand the universe to share – all are to be found All are found All are mine for the taking Your gift Your gesture Your utterances Your intentions Your food Your space Your tradition Your very being born of generations working tirelessly to move you into existence All are wrapped in a little red envelope and placed in my hand Not with superstitious wishes of luck and wealth and health But with actual longing for all that could be Might be Shall be If only If only I bow, let go of my fears, my grasping of control – Only if I bow and in gratitude accept the gift for what it truly is. Chúc mừng năm mới |
AuthorSome times I write. Even less than "some" times I share what I write. For those moments that I write and want to share I have done so here. Archives
December 2017
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